如何教育子女 ▏How to Educate Children

孩子是父母的希望，也是父母的一切，对于“如何教育孩子”，一直都是所有家长最关心的问题。然而大多数父母只注重教育孩子，却忽视了自身的问题。因此得到的结果，就是孩子对于父母的种种不满和抵触，最终形成沟通障碍，影响到学习甚至生活。

其实孩子的逆反心理主要来源于家长自己。因为孩子也有思想，他们会从父母的言行中看到，父母教给他们的，与父母自身所做的截然不同。比如，你不让他玩手机，可你却不离手机，你不让他抽烟、喝酒，而你却每天满身烟味，醉酗酗的回家；你不让他乱花钱，而你却每天都有快递。于是，当他们看到的与听到的如此不同，或者因父母对他的教育约束，并没有在父母自己身上实施时，他就不可能发自内心的尊重你，服从你的教育。

无论是工作还是教育孩子，以身作则是最重要也是最有效的方法，最有力的说服永远不是语言而是行动。想要望子成龙，首先自己要具备培养龙的能力与素质，你想在孩子身上实现某些能力，必须自己要有培养他的智慧与福报。家禽永远培养不出雄鹰。想要孩子优秀，你必须足够优秀。

Children are the hope of parents and even everything for parents. How to educate children has always been the most concerned issue for all parents. However, most parents only focus on how to educate their children but ignore their own problems. Therefore, their children's dissatisfaction and resistance to parents will eventually form communication barriers, affect children’s learning and even influence their life.

Children's rebellious attitude can be traced back to their parents’ behaviour. Because children also have their observation, they could find that what they are taught by their parents is different from what their parents' own words and deeds. For example, parents do not allow their children to spend their time on their mobile phones, but they look at their phones all the time. Parents do not permit their children to smoke or drink, but they get drunk every day and come back home with strong cigarette smell. Parents ask their children to curtail unnecessary splurges, but they collect parcels every day. Hence, children will not truly respect their parents and follow their advice because what children saw is different from what they are told, or what children are taught is different from their parents’ behaviour pattern.

Practising what you preach is the most important and effective way in both working area and children education. The most powerful persuasion technique is not words but actions. If parents want their children to be a social elite, they should have the capability to cultivate the elite at first. If parents want their children to realise some dream, they must have the wisdom and merits to create the dream and educate their children. Geese could never breed eagles. If children are expected to be outstanding, parents must stand out first.

                                      ——嘉样堪布

                                             Khenpo Jamyang